Sticking to the tradition of
losing (well, there were one or two totally unintentional accidental cases, where India
won – but you have to note – that did
not affect the result of the entire series at all), today Indian National
Cricket team under Shri Mahendra Singh Dhoni loses
another ODI against England. After the match, Dhoni was kind enough to come
in the press conference. And he came, he
saw and he conquered.
This reporter of The Analyst was
one of the fortunate ones, who attended it. He strongly repeats his statement
when he was asked whether he would step down. “NEVER!” was his single word
answer. And he has then furnished some
superb cutting-edge logic.
“Cricket is a team game, just like
politics. When Congress lost the battle of Uttar Pradesh, there was Digvijaya
Singh to take the responsibility on his shoulder. Remember, Rahul Gandhi
was the captain of the campaign. Still Diggy did so. If I don’t have someone
like Diggy in my team, what can I do?” – Dhoni simply knocked-out the journo by
these words.
He further added, “I repeat, Cricket is a
team game. I did whatever I could”. Citing the reference of his recent century and
even today’s innings (32 runs on 25 balls) he clarified, “Captain’s performance
is not everything. See, wherever
Rahul Gandhi campaigned in Gujarat, Congress won. But still Congress could
not do well overall. ”
One reporter tried to question whether
Rahul was really the skipper in case of Gujarat, Dhoni cut him in the middle (well,
even Arnab Goswami can learn this stance from Dhoni) and said – “Don’t ask
silly question. Let me finish. Yes, in India, Guests are treated as Gods. Here
everyone, including
Javed Miandad, is warmly welcome. And if our guests lose matches here, what
the message would go in the world?” After hearing this response, the reporters
forgot to ask why he lost consecutive eight tests abroad.
The way he tackled the journalists,
several political parties secretly contacted him with some exclusive offers of
making him the General Secretary of media cell (or something like that).
Though the details of the packages are not currently available, our unconfirmed
sources say that the most lucrative one has come from none other than Indian
National Congress (though Dhoni’s comments are anti-congress, according to some
self-proclaimed political analysts), where there are still enormous need of the
political managers, despite having some brilliant ones in their squad.
Even the most vocal fans of Sourav
Ganguly are appreciating the way Dhoni played with the veteran scribes. But some of them are still busy in nitpicking.
Rajnish Gangulian (this is one of the most popular ways of writing name among
the die-hard supporters of DADA to show their madness) is one of them. He said
to The Analyst, “Well, the sporting as well as the managerial skill he showed
in the press conference is awesome. If he applies even 10% of his wit in the
games, probably India would be in a far better position.”
And yes, Srini uncle, in the meantime, is spending
sleepless nights to find a way to felicitate Dhoni that he deserves, for his
brilliant and charismatic press-conference. “He is the new youth-icon of India!”,
Srini Uncle exclaimed in joy when this reporter of The Analyst has contacted him.
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This is a purely fictional work which has no relation with the truth.
I think Uncle Srini needed a bit more attention in this article. After all he too played his part, might not be with bat an ball but surely with foolishness and ludicrous comments.
ReplyDeleteSure. Next time we will take care of that :)
DeleteThank you for sharing this post.
ReplyDeletequesdtial